my heart has finally felt more predictable. what was once joyful, it is now serene. i now know that happiness will stay, so i don't hold on to it with excitement. i just let it be.

i'm even more secured in the person i want to see myself becoming, than the one i thought i needed to be. i haven't been afraid in a long time.

desires are still there, but i tell them to bug off. desires are the antithesis of happiness. but i wonder if any are whispers of something more... i guess i'd be letting the desires be more if i wonder more.

regardless, i'm happy. and, i feel meaningful. that matters multitudes.

i'll close with my favorite quote from one of my favorite books:

"the world is made of potentials [...]. then our minds consider the world, and as we choose the moment to gaze and the perspective from which to gaze, the world takes form”.