today i took a 3 mile walk, and a baby was involved. he was minuscule, with his heart probably smaller than a lime. i had forgotten how vulnerable newborn babies are. i tickled his toes and felt his belly expand. he went to sleep on the first loop and woke up on the second. i wonder if the ducks, geese and other small birds (but not as small as him), woke him up with their sunset songs. of course the cranes didn’t. they’re too majestic to mutter a note.
i thought about being a mother, and teared up without anyone noticing at the possibility of not being one ever. although is not my fault. must be the pesticides and phytoestrogens?
there he laid. as squishy as a jellybean, but so useless. at least jellybeans add calories.
nevertheless, there he laid. the promise of the never-ending energy, compacted in a little meat sack melting my tomato-sized heart when he smiled.